“Hope, self-esteem, and education are the most important factors in creating health daily, no matter what our background or the state of our health in the past”
— DR. CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP
I recently read an article on Elephant Journal “How to Balance your Shiva” that concisely put into words the massive existential shift I have been going through the past year. I have rediscovered my feminine energy. Something I thought I cultivated regularly but in reality I was hammering away at maintaining my masculine energy.
We all have a masculine and feminine side within us- regardless of gender. This also isn’t supposed to pigeon-hole you either. Just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you need to have an overpowering feminine energy and the same goes for da boys. However, in today’s very confusing times, social constructs and pressures as well as our ambitious pursuits create an imbalance between the masculine and feminine. We have to wake up ourselves and realize what energy we are suppressing in order to live fully and wholesomely.
The masculine energy can be defined as:
Direction, stability, discipline, structure. Some would liken this to a glass bottle or the rock and earth of a riverbed. Hard and unmoving.
The feminine energy can be defined as:
Flow, sensuality, surrender, tenderness. This is liquid of the bottle or the wild rapids moving over the riverbed.
I know. When I look at these lists I get pissed off. One of the key words of the masculine energy is DIRECTION. We all want to have direction. We have been told in this society that if we want to succeed we must have goals, purpose, strength, relentless energy to get shit done with a very logical brain. When I look at the feminine energy I kinda get bummed out. I also get pissed off when I have emotional responses, like crying, to stressors. I get pissed off that I need to take a bath, listen to Enya and eat a grilled cheese to unwind. Denying our feminine energy certainly doesn’t make it go away. So where does this leave us? Does this mean I have to be an ultra soft kitten wrapped in pink fluff delighted by sparkles and diamonds?
Well my answer is FUCK NO! We all express various degrees of our feminine and masculine energies daily. Nevertheless, I do find that the masculine energy dominates in the business world, the Crossfit world, and the athletic world. So naturally, as a woman, I want to be successful so I did what was necessary to accomplish my goals. It wasn’t until recently I realized how much I was missing my feminine energy; In fact my entire pursuit of Crossfit, in hindsight, has been to find and resuscitate that fiery little girl deep inside of me. I was cut off from my emotions and I became so identified with being ‘tough’ that I was unwilling to open up.
This doesn’t mean that I will give up everything I love to do, like smashing weights and kicking ass- but once you reconnect with that feminine essence your perspective shifts. I don’t feel like I am “grinding” away at life anymore or forcing myself to constantly go, go, go. I now respect the Yin and Yang, the Shiva and Shakti, the flowing of the life-force. More of which I will expand on in my next blog post….it’ll be a little juicier too.
If you happen to be a chick doing tough work out there in the world (from a momma to a mechanic) make sure you carve out a little time to reconnect with your essence!. Here’s how:
1. Create, Play, Laugh
There is new research out there showing that a gas, nitric oxide (not nitrous oxide), is produced during exercise, sex, meditation and the thinking of joyful or hopeful thoughts. This gas increases blood circulation and balances mood-enhancing neuro-transmitters like serotonin and dopamine. Some people say this mysterious gas is equivalent to life force, chi or prana. So move freely (like dancing), be silly when you want to be and laugh. I like to watch stupid movies, act ridiculous with myself or a friend/lover or reminisce with family over funny times in the past.
2. Reclaim your erotic self
It is your birthright to experience glorious, healing sex! You can do this in a relationship or alone. Discover sexual pleasure on your own terms. How do you like to be touched? What makes you feel sexy? Do you know your body? What smells, sights and sounds are pleasurable to you? What food makes you moan as it touches your tongue? Surround yourself with pleasure which will give you so much more life-force! My next post will go into specifics on how to get this all done but for now just let the seed be planted in your mind.
3. Get into Nature
It is easy to get bogged down in the gym, in your apartment, in your city, in your country…it picks away at you slowly. The irritation builds slowly. When you take a trip to the countryside, a city garden or a new part of the world you can feel the tension melt from your body. You are reconnecting with your intuition and flow. So this means: GET OUT OF THE GYM GOD DAMNIT.
4. Surrender to a Relationship
This has been the biggest teacher for me. My man is a mirror, if you will, of all I thought my ‘self’ to be. I am very masculine energy dominant woman. I love that I am courageous but I also have a hard time receiving. I have such a reluctance of surrendering to my feminine essence even though it is so strong at the core of me. I almost resent her at times because I see her as a weakness. The feminine energy is not weak- it is powerful beyond our comprehension and that energy has not been tapped into properly yet for a number of reasons—more on this later. Surrender doesn’t mean “losing freedom” but rather a catalyst for personal growth through our deep-seated habits, fears, and desires. I have gained so much more in self-awareness through this connection than I would have alone.
The balancing of your masculine and feminine energies won’t reset over night. Rather it is a journey of a new conciousness; perspective for how you are in this world. Bother energies are vital for health. Try this shit out. Some people may laugh at you or scoff but they aren’t ready for something like this yet. You’re evolving and you won’t regret it.